Gradularity

The Selfish Gene 30th Anniversary Edition is on its way to the winner of our Sylly-Train competition, which is now closed, James Treanor. The winning syllytrain: The surgeons recommend undergoing obligatory neurobiological neovascularization [sic]. Apologies James, I was unable to find a hardback 40th Anniversary edition on amazon. I hope you enjoy reading The Selfish Gene as much as I did.

Today I'd like to talk about the gradualness of my healing process. Sometimes I think "this must be a bit like what getting old is like". As is common, I'm sure, following The Selfish Gene I have started The Extended Phenotype, by the same author. It's difficult to explain why, but I know it will take me several weeks to get to the end of it. I have found myself re-reading entire chapters of The Selfish Gene, for example, quite, at first, by accident. I might start reading and, suddenly, suspect myself of having skipped a chunk. By the time I realise I was mistaken, I'm already engrossed, again, in the chapter I'm re-reading. Time has become, to me, simultaneously very disposable and very action-packed.

In my former, pre-accident, life I was very impatient when it concerned things that I deemed unimportant. So, for example, if I was waiting for a shop to open, 10 minutes would seem to me like an hour. Nowadays, a movie's subtitles have already disappeared, before I've them read. Thinking back to my time in the Schoen Klinik, prior to which, the longest I had spent in a hospital had been 3 weeks, with a burst appendix. I was, in November, I'm told, looking forward to spending xmas at home in Hamburg. I was in for a surprise.

I am on a very long gradient toward recovery. Due to my poor memory, I don't properly get to enjoy the little wins of my recovery. For example, I have a vague memory of being helped from my bed in the Schoen Klinik, transferring to a chair, I guess. The careful reactions of the nurse, and myself, tell me that I've come a long way since then. But I don't have a vivid record. Nowadays, I wheel myself, with my legs, my left arm is buggered, sometimes 45 minutes early, down to therapy. My brain processes those 45 minutes as my old brain would have got through 5 minutes.

Next time will see the first of my patient interviews where I will directly question patients, 1:1, who have a story to tell.

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